Every 10th October of the year is usually quiet and sober for my mom and siblings. It was the day when we experienced our first baptism of heart break. Yeah I’ll tell you more, just hang on a bit.
Nine years ago, while preparing for my SSCE (Senior School Certificate Examination) I was summoned to the principal’s office alongside my kid brother who was just starting secondary school. It was there we were informed that our Papa had transitioned to the great beyond. My mom explained that it was during his normal morning session at the gym that he slumped and didn’t make it to the hospital. Autopsy results show myocardial infarction as the cause of death. You know it kind of scarred my mom who began to develop a phobia for gyms.
Well it’s been almost ten years since Dad left but there’s hardly no conversation at home everyday that leaves him out, such was his impact within the brief period of knowing him. Dad was very intentional about his kids and wife, he really got worried when any of us wasn’t happy and was emotionally sensitive so you couldn’t hide from him. He was just so easy to love and easy to emulate. I would share you some of the greatest lessons he taught me.
The Fear of God must guide all your actions: My dad introduced us to God everyday, together with mom we were provided a lot of cassettes and picture books with biblical stories talking about certain lessons such as contentment, temperance and self-control, excellence and honour. My siblings and I remember quite a lot of these stories and we sometimes gist about them.
Never Feel Inferior: While growing up I used to be very introverted and was wary of the public. I used to be very shy and doubtful of myself. My mom says it really took a while before I started talking and that I used to keep to myself a lot. It really took a while before I got over what you would call the imposter syndrome. My dad really took special care for me mentoring me and ringing it in my ear that I am a genius and not inferior in anyway. The confidence he instilled in me has made me great at speaking. It is quite surprising that I could stand before a crowd of students to teach.
You can achieve whatever you set your heart to: The number 1 scripture that has stuck with me for years is Philippians 4:13. My dad always used to read out stories to us about ordinary people who went on to do extraordinary things. He would say ‘If they could become great despite their challenges, why can’t you.’ I remember one of the classical examples was Steven Hawkins, one of the greatest scientists who was confined to a wheelchair.
Always be sensitive to other people’s feelings and needs: My mom tells me she was attracted to my dad because of how much he cared for others even when he had nothing. She would recount how he was easily moved with mercy for those in need. He could see through what others couldn’t and respond discreetly. He would meet the needs of others without telling others or broadcasting it (sometimes neither my mom nor I would know). This has subconsciously shaped my daily conduct, I really don’t feel fulfilled if I haven’t made someone smile.
Don’t be quick to judge as you never know the full picture: My dad always warned me about accusing or judging others without making efforts to understand the reason for their actions. While everyone was busy speaking about how bad a person had behaved, he would show you five reasons why such a person had acted in such a manner and his non-judgemental approach won him so many mentees and friends.
Always think through before speaking or acting: Growing up, I used to have a short temper and end up saying hurtful words to people. Whenever this happened, I would expect my dad to punish me but he would say something that would pierce like a needle which is ‘you ought to have grown beyond saying things you would later regret’. This has continued to guide my conduct in life, whenever I feel angry or displeased I just keep silent, pray silently and think.
Thanks for reading through, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
Obaba Museum 
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